There’s a particular dialect spoken fluently by all human beings at some point in their lives. It doesn’t come with a Rosetta Stone course, yet we pick it up effortlessly. It’s the language of insecurity.

You’ve probably heard it before. Perhaps you’ve spoken it today. It sounds like:

• I should have known better.
• I could have handled that differently.
• I would have done it if only…
• I need to get my act together.
• Why am I like this?
• I’ll never be good enough.
• What’s wrong with me?
• I have to figure this out.
• I just don’t trust myself.
• They must think I’m an idiot.
• I’ll probably fail anyway.
• I can’t believe I did that.
• If only I were more…
• I don’t deserve this.
• This always happens to me.

It’s a language rooted in self-doubt, past regret, and future worry. It assumes there is a problem that needs fixing, a flaw that needs correcting, and a gap that must be filled. And the more we engage with it, the more it seems to confirm that we are, indeed, a walking, talking existential crisis.

Recognizing the Voice of Insecurity

Here’s the thing: insecure thoughts love to pretend they are insightful. They wear the disguise of deep self-reflection when, in reality, they are just mental static—a temporary swirl of unhelpful commentary masquerading as wisdom. But wisdom doesn’t speak in ultimatums, self-judgment, or fearful forecasting. Wisdom whispers, gently points, and brings clarity.

What should you do when you notice you’re speaking the language of insecurity?

Absolutely nothing.

Why “Doing Nothing” is the Most Powerful Response

From a Three Principles understanding, insecure thoughts are just passing weather systems in the mind. They roll in, sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtly, but always temporarily. Trying to control them, argue with them, or fix them only invites them to linger like an unwanted houseguest who suddenly feels entitled to stay the weekend.

Instead, what if you just noticed them? Like you’d notice a bird flying by or a cloud drifting overhead? What if you didn’t take them so seriously?

The more you see that insecurity is just thought in motion—without inherent meaning or truth—the less hold it has on you. You don’t have to fix it because it was never broken to begin with.

A Simple Exercise to Shift Perspective

Next time you catch yourself speaking the language of insecurity, try this:

1. Pause and Name It. Say (internally or aloud), Ah, that’s insecurity talking again. Labeling it helps create distance between you and the thought.
2. Picture the Thought as a Bad Radio Station. Imagine tuning into a station called Insecurity FM. Hear the static, the dramatic commentary, the overly concerned host analyzing every decision. Now, picture you turning the dial. You don’t have to argue with the station; you just recognize it and shift your attention.
3. Ask Yourself: Would I Give This Advice to a Friend? If a friend came to you with the same self-doubts, would you tell them they’re hopeless, unworthy, and doomed? Probably not. So why say it to yourself?
4. Get Curious Instead of Critical. Instead of judging your insecurity, ask, What if I didn’t need to take this thought seriously? I wonder what my next thought will be. See what happens when you loosen your grip.

Insecurity is not a flaw. It’s not a personal failing. It’s just a temporary experience created by transient thought. And like all thoughts, it will pass—especially when we stop feeding it our attention.

So the next time you hear yourself speaking the language of insecurity, remember: it’s just a familiar habit of thought, not a truth about who you are. And the best thing you can do? Smile, let it be, and wait for clarity to return. It always does.

I’d love to hear your take on your experience with insecure thinking. Please share in the comments or email me.

Kind regards,

12/100

My all-time favourite song to remind me of what to do with insecure thinking: