Well, mostly. 😏
And people naturally ask me:
“Are you excited?”
Yes.
And I’m also a little anxious.
I’ve been worried.
I’ve felt sad.
I’ve felt incredibly grateful.
This morning I became emotional watching one human being show genuine compassion toward another.
I loved the feeling.
And something occurred to me.
I didn’t ask myself:
Why am I feeling emotional?
What does this mean?
Is this normal?
Should I be feeling this way?
I just felt it.
Yet when the feeling is one we don’t particularly like, how quickly the investigation begins.
Why am I anxious?
Why am I worried?
Why am I feeling insecure?
What does this say about me?
Maybe sometimes there is something useful to see in those questions.
But I wonder how often we’re really asking:
“Is it okay that I’m feeling this?”
Or perhaps:
“Please tell me this feeling doesn’t mean what I’m afraid it means.”
Someone might look at this trip and say:
“If I were in your shoes, I’d be worried all the time.”
Fair enough.
They might be.
But here’s someone in those shoes who isn’t worried all the time.
I’m not excited all the time either.
I’m not anything all the time.
That’s what’s fascinating.
Feelings come.
Feelings go.
Another one arrives.
And so far, none of them has needed to tell me whether I should take this trip, cancel it, change something, manage myself better or figure out what the feeling means.
They’re moving through.
Maybe there’s something hopeful in seeing that.
You don’t necessarily have to get rid of anxiety to discover you’re okay.
You don’t have to be fearless to do something that scares you.
And you don’t have to hold on to the beautiful feelings either.
Feel them.
Let them move.
Another one will be along shortly.
My bags are packed.
I’m about to head off on an adventure.
What will I feel?
Probably all of it.
How wonderful.
I am alive.
How do I know?
Two guesses.
And the last one doesn’t count. 😉
Much Love, fresh musings when I return in November!
(Please look forward to revisiting older posts and a few new ones I wrote before I left in the next few weeks)
