At this time of year, resolutions are everywhere. Gyms are packed, planners are cleared, and hope feels unusually loud. It’s the season of “This year will be different!”
So let’s start with the obvious question.
What are The Top Three New Year’s Resolutions People Make Every Year?
Across studies and surveys, the top three are remarkably consistent:
- Health & fitness
Exercise more, eat better, lose weight, feel healthier. - Money & work
Save more, spend less, get out of debt, improve career or productivity. - Personal growth & well-being
Reduce stress, be happier, more present, more mindful, more balanced.
Nothing is surprising there. These resolutions all point to a deeper longing:
“I want to feel better in my life.”
Now here’s where a principles-based understanding changes the conversation.
Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail
From a principles coaching perspective, resolutions usually fail for one simple reason:
They are made from thinking, not from clarity.
When a resolution comes from frustration, guilt, fear, or comparison, it’s fueled by a busy or insecure state of mind. In that state, willpower becomes the fuel, and willpower always runs out.
We say things like:
- “I have to change.”
- “I need to fix myself.”
- “I can’t keep being this way.”
- “I should lose weight.”
Notice the language used. That’s a clue. That kind of energy doesn’t last because it was never stable to begin with.
A Principles-Based Perspective on Lasting Change
Here’s the shift.
1. Start with the state of mind, not the behaviour
Behaviour naturally follows clarity. When the mind settles, insight appears. And when insight appears, change happens effortlessly.
Instead of asking:
What should I do differently this year? (outside in)
Try:
What do I see differently about how my experience works? (inside out)
When someone truly recognizes that their feelings are created from the inside out, urgency softens. They stop fighting themselves. From there, new actions naturally emerge.
2. Let insight lead action, not discipline
Lasting change doesn’t come from trying harder. It comes from seeing something new.
People don’t quit smoking because they force themselves to resist cravings forever. They quit when something clicks, and cigarettes simply lose their appeal.
If quitting smoking is on your list, here is a new approach. It’s not a stopping problem; it’s a starting problem. You quit every time you put a cigarette out. So quitting is not the problem.
That’s insight.
And insight doesn’t need motivation.
3. Choose direction over goals
From a principles lens, the most powerful resolutions are not rigid goals. They are gentle orientations, like:
- “When my mind is clear, I’ll listen.”
- “I won’t make big decisions when I’m stirred up.”
- “I’ll trust clarity more than pressure.”
These aren’t promises you can fail. They’re reminders of how life already works.
A New Way to Think About Resolutions This Year
Instead of a New Year’s resolution, consider a New Year’s understanding:
“When my mind settles, I feel better and naturally do what makes sense for me.”
Health improves. Habits shift. Relationships soften. Work becomes cleaner.
Not because you pushed… but because clarity and wisdom led the way.
A Gentle Reflection
As the year turns, you might sit with this:
If nothing were wrong with you, what would naturally change?
That question doesn’t demand effort.
It invites insight.
And insight, quietly and reliably, is what actually sticks.
Happy New Year, much love,
Rick Ruppenthal | COACHING 