I was speaking with a client the other day, and she described driving a fully loaded vehicle down a narrow, steep logging road. The kind with no guardrails, a long way down if things go wrong, and absolutely no room for daydreaming.

She called it white-knuckling it.

I asked her if she ever noticed how tightly she was gripping the steering wheel.

She paused, then said something that quietly changed the whole conversation:

“My grip was as tight as it needed to be to keep me safe.”

That one sentence opened an entirely different doorway.

Because that wasn’t fear running the show.
That was feel.
That was wisdom.

Not Too Tight. Not Too Loose.

When people talk about white-knuckling, we usually mean fear. Over-control. Panic. Bracing for impact.

But what she described wasn’t that.

She described being present.

Very little thinking.
Eyes on the road.
Hands responsive, not rigid.
Aware of the edge, without obsessing over the cliff.

She said there wasn’t much thought going on at all. Just noticing. Adjusting. Responding.

That’s not a stressed mind.
That’s a clear one.

And it points to something we don’t talk about enough.

Fear Isn’t the Enemy

From a Three Principles understanding, fear isn’t a flaw to fix or something to get rid of. It’s information. A signal about our state of mind, not a verdict about our circumstances.

When fear is welcomed rather than resisted, it does something remarkable.

It sharpens focus.
It brings us into the moment.
It helps us sense what’s needed now.

That’s very different from fear that spirals into “what if” thinking, catastrophic futures, and imagined outcomes that haven’t happened and may never happen.

One keeps you safe.
The other pulls your attention off the road.

Where Attention Goes, Performance Follows

On that logging road, there’s a sweet spot.

Too loose and careless? You miss the curve.
Too tight and consumed by “what could happen”? You freeze, overcorrect, or lose your feel entirely.

Peak performance lives in between.

Hunters know it, race car drivers know it, and stage performers know it.

Right on the edge.
Alert, but not alarmed.
Engaged, but not overwhelmed.

This is true in driving.
It’s true in leadership.
It’s true in parenting, relationships, recovery, and change.

When attention stays in the present moment, wisdom naturally adjusts the grip.

No formulas required.

The Road Is Always Teaching

I often point clients back to moments like this. Not as metaphors to analyze, but experiences to remember.

You already know this feeling.

You’ve been there when time slowed down.
When thinking quieted.
When you trusted what was right in front of you.

That’s not something to manufacture.
It’s something that appears when the mind settles.

And here’s the quiet reframe:

You don’t perform well despite fear.
You perform well when fear is no longer misunderstood.

Staying on the Road

Life has plenty of narrow stretches.

When it feels edgy, it doesn’t mean something is wrong. It may simply mean your system is doing precisely what it was designed to do.

Feel for the road.
Let the grip be what it needs to be.
Keep your eyes where you’re going, not where you imagine you might fall.

Wisdom already knows how much pressure is required.

And it has an impeccable safety record.

If this resonates, sit with it for a moment the next time you feel yourself tightening up. You might discover you’re not white-knuckling at all.

You’re just fully here.

Much love,

Here are a couple of videos that clearly illustrate this idea of being in the zone.