“Your past only describes you, it does not define you.”

Carl Jung

I personally have an experience of what my life was like growing up. I was always seeking answers to explain why I was doing something or not doing something I really wanted to do. I would grab anything I could off the library shelf and listen to all my well-intentioned friends. Why am I the way I am? Who am I, really?

I felt different. Not connected. I felt bitter at the world; life was unfair, and no one cared. I had thoughts of running away and even committing suicide just to get away from the circumstances and drama of my life.

Then in 1982, a friend of my mothers was telling her about this new kind of workshop that she couldn’t explain very well but had this life-changing experience that impacted the results she was getting. My Mom and I were invited to attend this introduction session to learn more.

After it was over, my mother boldly told me that “I should take it.” I said something like, “What about you?” Thinking that it would be fun and supportive to do it together. Nope, apparently, I needed it more than her.

The workshop turned out to be what was necessary to change my life’s direction. I was finally experiencing life the way I expected. The program was developed by Werner Erhard and called est (Erhard Standard Training), and it shifted my paradigm from being a victim of my circumstances to being the context for my life. The model went from “I am” to “I have” and made a difference in everything, from work, play and, most importantly, relationships.

That was my extensive introduction to what was called back then the Human Potential Movement. For the next several years, I took many bed courses from the est Foundation and other institutes. I also continued my self-study by reading numerous books and papers. It would be an understatement to describe it as an insatiable appetite and an incurable curiosity for learning!

Sharing what I had learned had mixed reviews, and at one point, family and friends had thought I had gone off in the deep end, to the point I started to question the reality of the situation. Having “IT” had become a barrier; at least, that is what I thought.

Although many of the workshops and programs were considered very controversial then, they provided me with a framework for acting in a “personally responsible, accountable, choice and unlimited possibility” way. I also realized that I had a natural calm, kind and understanding demeanour that provided the resilience I needed, which helped me survive some of the most challenging conditions and situations I encountered then and in the future when I took on the role of a paramedic.

The foundation laid then for me was what Sydney Banks called “The 3 Principles” only at the time; I was not aware of this nor his work, even though we both lived on Salt Spring Island.

As I understood it for me was that there was an “everything-nothing” to life. Something which can’t be described beyond our physical self and world. That this intelligence enabled everything I was experiencing to happen and was in control. It was beyond creation.

Secondly, I became acutely aware that I was something beyond my thoughts and circumstances. That life was not happening to me, but somehow through me. That alone blew my mind and destroyed all my past excuses for how things were.

Thirdly, there was a lightness to life. What was happening in front of me seemed like one big movie playing out with me playing a role which, if I chose to, I could change and interact with it differently. My thoughts, judgement and meanings to things were just that and nothing more and therefore had no power over my actions. I did things because I wanted not because I had to because of some internal void that needed to be filled.

In 1985, I became a paramedic, working for the BC Ambulance Service and volunteer Firefighter for our community. For the next 30 years, I was in a service that made a difference in people’s lives and empowered me.

Although I had other careers, like banking, where the focus on service is regarded as a key. Serving under the chaotic conditions presented in the Emergency Services Field taxed you physically and mentally.

It was and still is a great career, and unfortunately, it seems that no one leaves it unscarred, and I have witnessed the results of those scars. Depression, anxiety, feelings of despair, and PTSD led to addictions, failed relationships, to even suicide from many of my colleagues. I can not say that I escaped this all. However, any of the symptoms that would appear did not linger long when I remembered my grounding.

You can’t undo what you have already witnessed!

This is very true; however, the thinking that goes with it, you can. There were no good or bad calls; they were just calls unless I made more of them. I had very little control over what I was about to enter, and taking the last call into the next or even anticipating the next was fruitless and energy waste.

In my remaining years with the service, I ensured I showed up and did whatever was necessary. I rose up the ranks and eventually went into the Educational department, where I was exposed to the opportunity to coach and teach others to improve their roles as paramedics and leaders.

I would like to say that I retired on my terms and can’t. Again, stuff happens, good, bad, who knows, but I was one day escorted out of the building without much fanfare and told my services were no longer required.

Emergency Services is THE most challenging career to walk away from.

Yup, in my 30th year, one week before receiving my Governor General’s Award of Excellence for EMS and my long service award. Yes, stuff happens. Was it good, bad…maybe?

A month later, I was diagnosed with cancer, then my Mom became very ill, and I took on the role of caregiver for my mother until she passed just a short year later. They say everything happens for a reason; we don’t see it yet.

That is what happened. You don’t have control of what happens to you, you only have control of your actions at the time. Your thoughts are just that, thoughts. I knew that the stinkin’ thinking were fleeting thoughts, and new inspiration and ideas came in when the clutter of those thoughts left (and they do).

I would rather have a life where I was pulled towards a created future than one that was pushed and influenced from the past towards a predictable end.

My main focus is coaching and sharing how I developed the resilience to overcome what many struggled with. As crazy as this might sound, my grade two teacher told me I had a gift. She told me this after I did a presentation to the class that I can’t remember, but I remember standing up there terrified, and I got a significant response from my classmates.

“Do you know what just happened? You have a gift.”

All I knew was that I was sweating. She took the time to tell me that she saw something in me that I didn’t. It took me many years later to understand what she meant, and I am so grateful for her doing so.

“One person can make a difference, and everyone should try.”

John F. Kennedy, (1917-1963) 35th President of the United States

I am not perfect; I am human.
Do I get it right all the time?
No.
Do I let my thinking get the best of me occasionally?
Yes.
Will I screw up again?
Probably, so what!

I am here for anyone that needs an ear and a hand to get themselves off the ground. I am here to share an understanding of how we experience life and the true nature of thought.

I love sharing stories, speaking metaphorically, and being highly perceptive and intuitive.

I love to awaken minds and untether potential in others. To share the undeniable fact that we all have a natural state of well-being and are “not broken” and need to be fixed like some piece of furniture.

If you are in the Emergency Services or, for that matter, anyone going through what I call the “Crazy Eight,” what seems to be a never-ending cycle of sadness/depression to frustration/anger, let’s talk!

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I am grounded in my relationships. The relationships that I have with my wife/soul mate for 40+ years, who together we raised four wonderful daughters, who have fantastic mates, who have blessed us with nine grandchildren, with friends and with the many people that I have met on my journey.

I look forward to conversing with you and getting to know you better.

With much love,

The Stuff of Interest:

Coaching since 2015

Three Principles Practioner

Certified Coach – Coaching Out of the Box

Certified Change Management Practitioner – Prosci Inc.

Coaching for Performance – Dalhousie University

Trained in Jungian Typology and a Client Practitioner with Insights

30 years in Emergency Health Services (Paramedic), 10 years in Leadership Roles

11 years in rural Fire Services, Firefighter, Lieutenant, Training Captain

Toastmasters International, ACS/ALB,  Past District 21, Div A, Area 5 Director

Courses and Workshops:

Crucial Conversations
Clear Leadership
The Forum
Core and Experience Leadership LINX
The Communications Workshop
The Breakthrough System – Robbins-Mandes
Coaching Techniques that Drive Change, Skillsoft Ireland
Indigenous Cultural Competency
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP)
3 Principals of Human Experience
Supercoach – Micheal Neill

Recipient of:
Emergency Medical Services Exemplary Service Medal
BCAS Leadership and Teamwork Award
Community Service Award
Governor General of Canada Commendation for Bravery

Volunteer Work:
Leadership Mentor with the Paramedic Chief’s of Canada
The Movember Organization
Heart and Stroke

Cancer Survivor